Yesterday, Sarah and I were taking pictures throughout the construction zones of north high street for a project of hers. In the span an hour-plus, we had received well over 15 honks, jeers, catcalls, etc. These ranged from, "I'd take pictures of you, baby" to my favorite, "Girl, I'd so fuck you." Why is this deemed to be in the least bit okay? Why is the structure of society entirely constructed in a way where I feel violated nearly every time I walk down a street? I went to work after the fact feeling terribly downtrodden.
The biggest question with street harassment: How can we express our feelings without perpetuating the cycle? In my case, I know that I immediately respond with anger and this anger prompts me to want to use some sort of expletive to combat the situation, but I don't think this helps. I do appreciate those who use violence in response to catcalls, but I also think that it could end up worsening the situation. An example of physically fighting back can be found in Consequence: Beyond Resisting Rape by Loolwa Khazzoom.
Anyway, the point is that we should be discussing what types of arguments we should present in our leaflet/pamphlet. The link I posted a few days ago to the street harassment project in New York may help, but I think that we should definitely add more to it. My hope is to distribute these to women on campus as well as in the community. Maybe we can organize with the university to distribute these to upcoming freshmen in the dorms. We can put copies at the infoshop, kerouac, other local spots. Any other thoughts?
B&P assignment of the week: Identify what it is about street harassment that affects you: use I-statements. (Ex: I feel degraded when... I do not like it when...) If you were to have a rational conversation with someone who harassed you, what would you want to convey? Also, in what way do you want to convey all this to the aggressor: as an impersonal collection of thoughts or an account of individual feelings? both? The responses to these questions are not just for putting on the leaflet but also so that we, as a group, can discuss and understand eachother's perspectives on the issue.
Street Harassment Project examples:
"Women Turn-Offs-
Any kind of street harassment, anytime anywhere!
- Crude remarks by strange men!
- Hearing men rate our bodies like "nice ass"!
- Being groped or rubbed up against!
Women feel only HATRED for the weak, stupid men who treat us this way.We won't take it anymore!!!
Women Turn-Ons
- Being treated with respect!
- Being treated as equals!
And remember guys, NO means NO !"
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Mary, there is so much I could say about this. I consider myself sort of a border-crosser, in various ways. I am Mexican AND United-Statesian, I am a straight man, but in touch with the "female energy" in me. I got a Master's in Dance for heaven's sake. This is why I understand your frustration, maybe to a larger extent than other men might.
ReplyDeleteIn Latin America, this frustration would grow by a factor of ten. Women, especially younger women, and even moreso younger women who are not Latina, simply cannot walk alone (without a man) without the most horrible things being said or whistled or jeered at them. It is a genuinely hostile environment. So if your experience with Sarah wasn't bad enough, imagine it being that way...all...the...time.
This is why Latina women have their own, strong social networks, that women in the U.S. seemed to have moved away from in the 60s and 70s. Some women are finding it helpful to revive and rediscover those networks now, so that's one thing.
The second thing is maybe more important. I wanted to offer the viewpoint from the male side, at least as I see it. Basically, it might seem that the men who engage in this kind of behavior are merely acting on their animal impulses, without the emotional capacity for self-editing or gentlemanly self-control. In other words, they are brutes. But what really motivates much of this cat-calling behavior is something quite simple: it's fear.
[Cont]
In the immature emotional view of men (and most men are emotionally immature, because society tacitly allows and encourages them to be, as you already know), women are the possessors of something men want. Call it pleasure, or sex, or the vagina, or whatever, women have something that men (think they) cannot live without. So in essence, the basic fear is one of rejection. Men do these things, in large part, because they want to exert some control over something they feel totally helpless about: female sexuality. So again, it comes down to power.
ReplyDeleteNow as for what to do about it, well, there are many approaches. I myself find the African-American woman's response the most joyful and appropriate, and I even use it myself when confronted with the calls of "faggot" that come my way. African-American women handle themselves just fine. Their response to unwelcome advances is usually along the lines of: "Nu-uh, you ain't getting NEAR this thing brother, not till you get a better job!" And so on. They show no fear, only defiance, while at the same time strongly affirming their sexuality. (You will also see this anywhere there is a significant population of Afro-descended women, be it the Dominican Republic, Brazil, Venezuela, etc.)
Now, I don't recommend that white girls go around talking back in this manner. Instead, I do suggest that one, legitimately feminist answer to such nonsense from men is to...firmly love them back. A radical notion, I know! And very difficult to manage when faced with such seemingly naked aggression. But maybe instead of answering their calls with fear, or anger, or even avoidance, the most surprising thing to do is to answer them with acceptance and affection, established within very clear boundaries.
Men want to see who you are. Have compassion for them, in their utter ignorance. (And keep in mind the social status of most of the people you saw on High St, ask yourself what their struggle might be.) Of course, men want to take advantage of you, if they can get away with it. But this is only because you are an object to them, and they have been taught to objectify and degrade anything that they cannot exert power over.
I think that there are ways to regain personhood in that situation, while being clear of where the boundaries are. One example, in the scenario above: invite the construction workers (and I am assuming that at least some of them were working on this High St project), in a very businesslike manner, to come down and pose for a portrait. Turn them into humans, not objects of your fear or scorn. Ask about how the job is going. Show compassion for their situation. If they insist on saying reprehensible things, lovingly/humorously ask them if they would talk to their mother or daughter in that manner. This tends to shut them up, and everyone becomes human again.
There are just a few ideas. All I know is that answering their negativity and desire to objectify you with anger, may not be the best way to regain your own personhood. Remember, their negativity is nuanced with emotional issues that they just don't have ready access to, because as I am fond of saying, MEN ARE STUPID (myself included). Seeing these men not only as brutes (which they are, in part), but also as human beings with emotional needs, potentially turns the dynamic towards a positive direction.
Maybe others will disagree with what I've suggested here, and that's fine. These guys should probably just be slapped really hard sometimes. Some men do respond better to violence and/or dominance. But I wanted to offer another view that could potentially short-circuit the whole cycle. At least between two people—if only for a moment.